Hobo Improvement: March 2017

Thursday, March 30, 2017

A bookish orphan tumbles through the world of hobo magic, where kooky hobo wizards teach her that a fairytale ending comes to those who roll with the punches.

EDIT: I've found that this pitch works better if it includes a short gameplay description to provide context. I see no way to combine these into a single log line, so I'd recommend just pitching the above sentence with this one:

"An open world mixture of Zelda: Wind Waker and Mario 64 that customizes the platforming and combat abilities around the equipment selected by the player."

Old version: A responsible and bookish orphan tumbles through a topsy-turvy world of hobo magic, where kooky hobo wizards teach her that a fairytale ending comes to those who roll with the punches.

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

things we liked from different log lines

Kylie: A fantasy loving, responsible Orphan embarks a quest to find her long lost brother. She finds herself caught away in an upside down world of swashbuckling and magic and discovers her storybook ending is an easygoing life she learned from a collection of zany hobo songs.

Sarah: A responsible orphan with a love of fantasy gets roped into a quest to find her lost brother through a magical, swashbuckling, topsy-turvy Hobo world. Through her journey she discovers her need for an easier-going, enjoyable life from her found family of zany personalities.

Vanessa: A romantic, responsible Orphan embarks on a swashbuckling quest to find her brother in the upside-down world of magical hobos, and discovers the need for an easygoing life through a zany family she never wanted.

Hannah: A fantasy-loving responsible orphan goes on a quest to find her lost brother in the upside down, musical and magical world of hobos populated with zany personalities and discovers the need for a more easy-going life.
A responsible young orphan girl with a fanciful view on life is tossed into the upside down, peculiar world of musical and magical hobos as she searches for her lost brother and discovers how to roll with the punches.

roll with punches, storybook ending, no musical, fanciful view on life, topsy turvey, fanciful vs impassioned-somewhere between these two. discovers her storybook ending is different than expected.

fantasy adventure flavor
open world
exploration/discover
bounces through this chaotic world
choice aspect of the game.
apprentice magician
hobo sorcerer/hobo wizards/hobo legends

becomes a sorcerer's apprentice bounces her way through the upside-down world of hobos of legend and magic